This week’s blog was born from the brainchild of another. I can’t take credit for this thought. A phrase from a guest on Good Morning America stopped me in my tracks. I don’t know what subject matter the phrase pertained to but I thought it was interesting and worthy of the HDD blog.
WAIT FOR IT…
The phrase that grabbed my attention was this. “Bless your life with boundaries.” When you hear the word boundary, you might think about shapes, delineation, properties or relationships. Boundaries should be where one thing ends and another begins.
BOUNDARY
Noun
-A line that marks the limit of an area; a dividing line.
-A limit of a subject or sphere of activity.
An article from uhs.berkeley.edu defines three different kinds of boundaries that I will synopsize below.
ONE
Someone with rigid boundaries might keep others at a distance to avoid the possibility of rejection. They may seem detached, have few close relationships, are very protective of personal information and are unlikely to ask for help. They avoid intimacy and close relationships and have fewer close relationships.
TWO
Those with porous boundaries tend to overshare information, have difficulty saying no, get overinvolved with other’s problems and are dependent on the opinion of others. They are accepting of abuse or disrespect and fear rejection if they don’t comply with others.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
Those with healthy boundaries tend to value their own opinion. They don’t compromise values for others. They share personal information in an appropriate way which means they do not over or under share. They know personal needs and wants and can articulate them effectively. They are accepting when others say “no” to them.
EXAMPLES
Verywellhealth.com give us some examples of boundaries which include…
- This involves your body and personal space.
- These boundaries are crossed when pressured into unwanted intimate affection, touch or sexual activity.
- Intellectual/mental. This compromises your personal ideas, beliefs and thoughts.
- These are compromised when feelings or personal information you have disclosed are belittled, minimized or shared without your permission.
- Material/financial. These boundaries are crossed then you are pressured to lend, spend, give or loan money when you don’t want to.
- Crossing these boundaries happens when you have unreasonable demands or requests of your time or you over commit.
BUT HOW?
Now we have a few examples of boundaries. The question is how do I set healthy boundaries? Start by asking yourself if you need to set boundaries and why. For many, it can be uncomfortable, difficult and for some, impossible. Take baby steps and focus on one at a time. Be clear about what you want and expect. Prepare yourself for what you want to say. Rehearse if necessary. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Lastly, keep it simple and concise.
HDD
The guest on Good Morning America and High Desert Doppler have literally nothing to do with each other than basic human needs. If your needs include diagnostic ultrasound, call us at 505-350-3397.